Category Archives: Strange cures

1670: For leprosy, swallow gold bullets – over and over

Hannah Woolley was a mid-17th century writer – and possibly England’s most prolific public author of household guides. Woolley’s most famous work, published in 1670, carried the long title The Queen-Like Closet or Rich Cabinet, stored with all manner of Rare Receipts for Preserving, Candying and Cookery. Much of The Queen-Like Closet was concerned with cooking, household management and other useful tips for housewives, picked up during Woolley’s time in domestic service. She also offered some homespun medical cures. For example, for shingles Woolley says to:

“…Take a cat and cut off her ears and her tail, and mix the blood thereof with a little new milk and anoint the grieved place with it, morning and evening, for three days.”

For “morphew” (scaly skin) or freckles:

“Take the blood of any fowl or beast and wipe your face all over with it every night when you go to bed, for a fortnight… and sometimes hold your face over the smoke of brimstone for a while.”

And for leprosy, Woolley suggests swallowing gold bullets. And when they work their way through your system and emerge at the other end, swallow them again:

“Swallow every twelve hours a bullet of gold, and still as you void one, wash it in treacle-water and at the hour swallow it again… continue doing this a long time and it will cure.”

Source: Hannah Woolley, The Queene-Like Closet, &c., London, 1670. Content on this page is © Alpha History 2019-23. Content may not be republished without our express permission. For more information please refer to our Terms of Use or contact Alpha History.

1825: Frontier doc recommends oil of baked dog, frog and worms

Richard Carter was a Virginian-born physician who worked in frontier settlements in Kentucky in the late 1700s and early 1800s. In 1825 Dr Carter published a collection of the medical diagnoses, treatments and catch-all cures he had employed during his medical career. Some of his treatments were standard for the time, such as herbal concoctions for skin cancers and a strict dietary regime for tuberculosis. Others are more bizarre, such as his recommendation for cataracts of the eyes: burn the shins with a caustic solution. But none is more peculiar than Dr Carter’s recipe for a versatile oil rub, which could come straight from medieval Europe:

“Kill the fattest young dog that you can get, in the month of March or April. Clean him as you would a pig; gut him and stuff his belly with a pint of red fishing worms, a pint of red pepper, a considerable portion of the bark of sassafras root, and water frogs. Sew up the incision, roast the dog well and save the oil to anoint sores, gouts, weak nerves, etc.”

Source: Dr Richard Carter, A Short Sketch of the Author’s Life and Adventures from his Youth until 1818 in the First Part. In the Second Part, A Valuable, Vegetable, Medical Prescription, with a Table of Detergent and Corroborant Medicines to Suit the Treatment of the Different Certificates, 1825. Content on this page is © Alpha History 2019-23. Content may not be republished without our express permission. For more information please refer to our Terms of Use or contact Alpha History.

1895: Ladies, beware the intrusive axolotl

John G. Bourke was an American ethnologist who researched medical treatments and folklore among indigenous groups in what is now southern Texas and northern Mexico. Many of these ‘cures’ were reported to him by Maria Antonia Cavazo de Garza, a Mexican ‘wise woman’ in her early 70s. Bourke summarised some of these cures in an article written in 1895:

For dealing with epilepsy in children:

“Take a newly born pig and rub the naked child with this live piglet, from head to foot. The baby will break out in a copious perspiration and the pig will die.”

For the curing of asthma:

“Bake a tlalcoyote [American badger], bake it in the oven until dry, grind it up, mix with clean flour, add a stew made of Rio Grande jackdaw [a native crow], add a trifle of sugar. Put in the patient’s food and give in the first quarter of the moon… when the moon ends, the disease will end.”

And to assist with consumption, or tuberculosis:

“Take a black cat, kill it and extract all the bones. Rub the consumptive [patient] with the flesh from head to foot, and let him drink the cat’s blood mixed with warm water.”

Maria Antonia also told Bourke that women should be wary of the axolotl [Mexican walking fish]. This diminutive creature, she said, lived in the rivers and backwaters of the region, but was known to:

“..enter the person of the woman at certain times and will remain just as long as would a human foetus.”

One inside, the axolotl makes itself at home – while the unsuspecting female develops all the symptoms of pregnancy. Young girls going through puberty were particularly susceptible to this intrusion, so were warned to take care when swimming in ponds or rivers. The axolotl could apparently be forced out by drinking hot goat’s milk.

Source: John G. Bourke, “The medical superstitions of the Rio Grande”, 1895. Content on this page is © Alpha History 2019-23. Content may not be republished without our express permission. For more information please refer to our Terms of Use or contact Alpha History.

1704: English doctor solves large penis dilemma with a cork

Writing in 1704, English surgeon John Marten claimed that the “bigness of a man’s yard” seldom causes problems – “it very rarely happens that any woman complains of it”. Marten did report one case of marital sexual incompatibility, allegedly brought on by the husband’s excessively large penis:

“I knew a very lusty man that married a very small woman, and by means of yard being of almost the longest size, his wife could not suffer him… without a great deal of pain.”

The unhappy couple had been married for four years without painless intercourse or conception. They had consulted other physicians, who prescribed “styptic and astringent fomentations” to reduce the size of the offending organ, but these treatments had failed.

After examining both, Marten concluded that:

“..’twas the length of it that did the mischief… To remedy it I advised him… to make a hole through a piece of cork, lined with cotton on both sides, of about an inch-and-a-half in thickness, and put his yard through the hole, fastening the cork with strings round his waste (sic).”

According to Marten, his device worked perfectly: the couple reported a greatly improved sex life and conceived a child soon after. In 1709, five years after the publication of his book, Marten was prosecuted for producing obscene literature and trying to “corrupt the subjects of Our Lady the Queen”. The charges against him were dismissed.

Source: John Marten, Gonosologium Novum, or a New System of All the Secret Infirmities and Diseases: Natural, Accidental, and Venereal in Men and Women, 1704. Content on this page is © Alpha History 2019-23. Content may not be republished without our express permission. For more information please refer to our Terms of Use or contact Alpha History.

1598: Get rid of unwanted hair with drowned frogs

Christopher Wirtzung was a prominent German physician of the late 16th century. Wirtzung’s medical guide, The General Practice of Physicke, was written in 1598. It was translated into English in 1619 and subsequently became popular in Britain.

Much of Wirtzung’s medical advice is standard for its time. For example, Wirtzung attributes earache and deafness to “worms, fleas and little creeping things” that hatch and grow in the ears. To conceive a male child, Wirtzung suggests sprinkling one’s meat with a powder, made by drying and grinding:

“..the stone [testicle] of a bore hog being two years old, and the pizzle [penis] of a shag, shaven… two pairs of fox stones and 50 or threescore [60] sparrow brains… the pizzle of a bull and… cloves, saffron, nutmeg and rosemary.”

For women struggling with unwanted hair on the face or body, Wurtzel suggests the following homemade depilatory:

“Take a pint of wine, drown 20 green frogs therein, or as many as can be drowned therein, then set the pot 40 days in the warm sun… Afterwards strain it hard through a cloth, anoint the place therewith where you take away the hair…”

Source: Christopher Wurtzel, The General Practice of Physicke, 1598. Content on this page is © Alpha History 2019-23. Content may not be republished without our express permission. For more information please refer to our Terms of Use or contact Alpha History.

1743: Birthing tips from women in Greenland

In 1743, a Flemish explorer and writer, Hans Egedius, published A Natural History of Greenland, having spent time there some years earlier. Egedius begins with an account of Greenland’s climate, terrain, natural resources and fauna. He then turns his attention to its human inhabitants, mentioning their proclivity for wife-swapping:

“They have riotous assemblies in which it is reckoned good breeding when a man lends his wife to a friend…”

Egedius also records a list of bizarre medical treatments allegedly used in Greenland, such as this response to intestinal worms:

“When their children are troubled with worms, the mother puts her tongue up the [child’s] fundament to kill them.”

And their unique approach to childbirth:

“They hold a piss-pot over the women’s heads whilst in labour, thinking it to promote hasty delivery. They seldom [deliver] twins, but often monsters.”

Source: Hans Egedius, A Natural History of Greenland, &c., 1743. Content on this page is © Alpha History 2019-23. Content may not be republished without our express permission. For more information please refer to our Terms of Use or contact Alpha History.

1724: Cure kidney stones with a turtle pizzle

Cotton Mather was a Puritan minister and writer in early colonial Boston. To most history buffs, he is best remembered for his contribution to the Salem witch trials.

Mather’s puritanical religious views also informed his understanding of science and medicine. His unpublished book, The Angel of Bethesda, was an account of how physical and mental illnesses were caused by spiritual ailments, such as gross immorality and demonic possession.

The Angel of Bethesda also included practical hints for dealing with sickness, like this one for kidney stones:

“Take the pizzle [penis] of a green turtle, dry it with a moderate heat and pulverise it. Of this take as much as may lay upon a shilling, in beer, ale or white wine. It works a speedy cure! Yea, the turtle diet will do wonders for the stone.”

Source: Cotton Mather, The Angel of Bethesda, 1724. Content on this page is © Alpha History 2019-23. Content may not be republished without our express permission. For more information please refer to our Terms of Use or contact Alpha History.

c.2600BC: An ancient Chinese cure for toothache

A Chinese remedy for severe toothache, purportedly written by Huangdi, the ‘Yellow Emperor’, calls for a strange mix of ingredients to be blended and shoved up the nose:

“Roast a piece of garlic then crush it between the teeth. Mix with chopped horseradish seeds then make into a paste with human breast milk. Form this paste into pills and place one into the nostril, on the opposite place to where the pain is located.”

Source: Chinese medical treatise circa 2600BC, cited in P Dabry, La Medecine chez les Chinois, 1863. Content on this page is © Alpha History 2019-23. Content may not be republished without our express permission. For more information please refer to our Terms of Use or contact Alpha History.

1688: Tortoises, lungs and snails – and sugar candy

Theodore Mayerne (1573-1655) was a Swiss-born physician who traveled widely to study, research and work in medicine. By the early 1600s, he was one of several personal doctors to the French king, Henry IV. He also spent time in the royal and aristocratic courts of Denmark and Britain, eventually settling and setting up practice in the latter.

Like many physicians of his time, Mayerne believed that illnesses and injuries must be ‘shocked’ out of the body with chemical concoctions. The more foul and disgusting these substances were, the more effective they would be.

For problems with the lungs or breathing, Mayerne recommended a particularly gnarly brew – though it at least contained something a little sweet:

“A syrup made with the flesh of tortoises, snails, the lungs of animals, frogs and crawfish, all boiled in scabrous and coltsfoot water, adding at the last sugar candy.”

Source: Theodore Mayerne, cited in Anne Somerset, Unnatural Murder: Poison at the Court of James I, 1997. Content on this page is © Alpha History 2019-23. Content may not be republished without our express permission. For more information please refer to our Terms of Use or contact Alpha History.