Best known today as the author of Gulliver’s Travels, Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) was one of the 18th century’s leading authors of satire and whimsy.

In 1726, Swift published a brief essay proposing the construction of communal lavatories around London. His rationale was simple: in a city with very few public toilets, who hasn’t as some point been struck by a sudden diarrhea and ended up fouling their clothing?

“There is nobody, I believe, who [has not been] attacked in the streets by a sudden and violent motion to evacuate… The women fly to shops where, after cheapening something they have no need to buy [they] drop the greatest part of their burden on the floor or into their shoes… While we unhappy wretches hurry to some blind alehouse or coffee house where… the fierce foe, too violent to be resisted, gains the breach and lodges itself on our shirts and breeches, to our utter confusion, sorrow and shame.”

To prevent this common predicament, Swift called for the erection of public toilets in various locations around London. He called for the formation of a public corporation called the Necessary Company, to collect subscriptions and organise the erection of “500 shitting colleges”. He even offered detailed architectural suggestions: the “colleges” should be constructed of Portland stone, decorated with artwork and adorned with marble statues, each “expressing some posture, branch or part of evacuation”.

The interiors of Swift’s proposed facilities would be even more lavish:

“…The area to be paved with marble, with a basin and fountain in the middle… the cells [cubicles] to be painted in fresco with proper grotesque figures and hieroglyphics… the seats to be covered with superfine cloth, stuffed with cotton… the floor to be overlaid with turkey carpets in winter time and strewn with flowers and greens in summer.”

These “shitting colleges”, Swift wrote, would cost twopence per visit. Each facility would be manned a “waiter” and available from five in the morning to eleven at night. No person would be permitted to occupy a cubicle for more than half-an-hour, or to daub the walls with their “natural paint”. A large collection of books should be available for those who like to read “while they are at stool” – however clean cloth should also be on hand, lest visitors use the pages to deal with “the issue of their guts”.

Source: Jonathan Swift, “Proposals for Erecting and Maintaining Publick Offices of Ease within the Cities and Suburbs of London and Westminster”, 1726. Content on this page is © Alpha History 2019-23. Content may not be republished without our express permission. For more information please refer to our Terms of Use or contact Alpha History.